Losing my grief weight has been my main driving force behind my health and fitness journey and the beginning of my Green Limousine Project. I call it my grief weight because it’s the weight I put on during and following the deaths of my parents in 2008.
It’s been four years this year and I’m still not where I was before those horrible events. I never in a million years thought it would take this long to lose the weight. After all, I’d competed in seven figure competitions and managed to lose weight successfully every single time. So why is this any different I find myself asking myself? Because it just is I guess. It’s not just about weight loss, it’s also about the grieving process. And let me reassure you, it never gets easier contrary to popular belief. I mean, think about it for a minute will you. How does grieving for a loved one ever get easier? It doesn’t and I wished that society would stop saying it will, because it gives me false hope and that’s the last thing I need. I don’t need another disappointment in my life.
But alas, through all my struggles, I still continue to work towards my health and fitness. I guess the one thing I have going for me as that I NEVER GIVE UP. Quitting isn’t an option for me. And I don’t care how long it takes me, I will get there. Albeit eventually.
I’m getting there though. I’m managing to lose approx 0.5kg every week and I’m happy with that. Like I always say, slow and steady wins the race. Losing 22kg is what I’ll achieve in the end and to ensure I do it healthily it has to be this way. So far I’ve managed to lose a total of 12kg. 10kg to go now and I hope to achieve that by the end of this year. But it’ll happen when it happens. I’m not placing too much pressure on myself because it’s not a race.
I know one thing for sure, I’ll be glad when it’s gone. Because I want more than anything to look in the mirror and not see the physical impact of my parents deaths and what it’s done to me. That burden alone is one I’m most looking forward to saying goodbye to once and for all.
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Hugs. We are in the same boat at the moment. I am grieving for the loss of family members and a close friend who passed away this year. During the time immediately post their passing i also found that i hadn’t dealt with my own near death experience, i had been hiding it with food and alcohol. At that stage i was diagnosed with post traumatic stress. I’m at the stage where i feel a sense of shame in the amount of weight i have gained, in my head i should be fighting fit and healthy in honour of those gone before me. Ughh it messes my head up big time. And you are right it NEVER gets easier but i think we develop coping techniques to help us through each day. I just need to find healthy ones. We can get through it and make them even prouder of us xx
I’m sorry for your losses Cat. It can be incredibly difficult to deal with and unless someones walked a day in our shoes they can’t begin to understand the pain and anguish involved in our grieving.
It’s like everything else in life in that it’s different for everyone. We learn that the hard way unfortunately. We just have to keep plugging away no matter what happens, don’t we.
xxx