Personal

We arrived safe and sound to my in-laws place on the beautiful Sunshine Coast. Queensland’s Winter is a far cry from what we’re become accustomed to down south in Victoria. I’m loving it already and will happily adjust. It’s a tough life, but somebody’s got to do it.

Our furbabies will be staying here for the week with their grandparents because tomorrow we’re heading back down to Brisbane. We’ll finally get to see our new home for the first time, so we’re both excited. We’ve only seen it online until this point and although we know we’re moving here permanently it doesn’t quite feel real yet. Once we actually see the house I’m sure it’ll start sinking in. In the mean time we’re staying in a self-contained apartment until the removalists arrive on Thursday. So not to long to wait.

Tuesday I’ll be driving hubby to the airport and seeing him off as he’s heading overseas with work for the remainder of the year. Some people will go to great extremes to get out of unpacking, only kidding. A friend of ours has kindly offered to come around after work on the day I move in to help out with the things that hubby normally would do. That’s the great thing about life in the military because we all pull together and help each other out in times of need like this one. I’ve had so many great offers of help. But this is typical of the camaraderie that we live and breathe every day both in and out of work.

Then my in-laws will bring my furbabies down to me next weekend in time for me to start my new job the following week. I’ve made the conscience effort to not commit myself to anything social during my first month so I can just concentrate on unpacking and settling in. But September will see me getting out and about again to catch up with some old and new friends both through work and figure.

I’ll be back again sometime soon.

Photo: we♥it

As one door closes, another opens. The time has come for me to finish this chapter of my life and begin a new one.

I moved here under compassionate circumstances so that I could give quality of life to my dying Mum. I did what I had to do as any loyal loving daughter would under those circumstances. It was eight months from diagnosis to death, not the eighteen months to two years originally first thought.

Then half way through the eight months another tragedy struck. Dad was killed in a horrific workplace accident. My life ceased to exist as I knew it. I had one parent dead and the other one was dying, how was this possible?

So a majority of my time spent here has been consumed with my personal grieving process. It never gets easier, nor does it ever go away. I just do the best I can on any given day. Back then I even wanted to die myself just to be with them again, the pain and suffering was that excruciating and unbearable to deal with. One person kept me from that, my husband. He is the only reason I didn’t act on my thoughts of suicide. He was and still is very much my saviour.

Now I’m moving on, and putting a lot of distance between me and my past here. No more constant reminders, no more bad memories. It’s time for a fresh start and a clean slate. It’s time for a better and brighter future for me and my husband.

I typed this post last night because I knew it was going to be the last chance I would get online for a while. I scheduled it to publish now as we would already be on the road . Our first stop will be back home to pay our final respects to Mum & Dad. This brings mixed emotions but something I feel I need to do.

Then it’s back on the road and headed for Brisbane.

It’s been quite a while since I last updated my blog so I thought I’d better make an effort before anymore time passed. Like the title says, I’ve been living life in the fast lane lately. What with, getting ready to move my career and home to an interstate location. Then there’s hubby’s trip overseas, I guess you could say it’s been kind of crazy around here. Kind of expected really, isn’t it.

It’s less than a week now until I drive out of here and embark on the next chapter of my life. I’m feeling an array of emotions, some good, some not so good. So I’m just taking things one day at a time for now and doing the best I can on any given day. I’ll actually be glad to put as much distance between me and this state as I possibly can. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful that work was able to post me here on not one, but two compassionate postings. But unfortunately both experiences don’t bring pleasant memories for me, especially now that I’ve lost both my parents. Everything in life happens for a reason and although I still don’t understand why, I accept that that’s how it had to be for me. Maybe one day it’ll become apparent, maybe not. That’s life in a nutshell I guess and I no longer dwell on this point.

It’s all still very surreal actually. It was only this morning hubby and I were talking about it in the kitchen. It’s real, we know it’s real but it doesn’t feel real yet. Does that make sense? Then four days after we arrive in location I’ll be driving him to the airport and saying my goodbye’s until he returns at the end of the year. He doesn’t even get to see inside or move into his new home until he gets back. Not a bad deal as far as he is concerned, cheeky bugger.

The next couple of weeks I’m going to be in transit travelling and settling which also means I’m going to be online and offline quite sporadicly and sometimes with limited mobile coverage. But so my family and friends don’t worry unnecessarily I’ll blog again once I’m moved in and online at my new home.

That’ll do for today. I’ll pop back another time and update you all on my health and fitness journey on the Nazafit Express.

Photo: we♥it

Love is all you need to get you through the best and worst of times in life. Love from your family, your friends and those you surround yourself with.

“Anyone who’s lost a parent or will lose one will understand that this is a unique loss. Parents were the first to hold us when we were born, the first to love us, and the first people we loved.”

Loving someone, anyone, means trusting them implicitly, and when we get hurt by that love in whatever form that may be we never forget that feeling, never. When your heart is broken it leaves a gaping hole in your chest and the open wound can take a lifetime to heal, if at all.

Often to protect ourselves, we retreat and withdraw further into our depths of darkness. It’s a survival instinct, to stop the pain and suffering that comes hand in hand with a broken heart. This also comes at a cost, to those that are closest to us because by protecting ourselves we in turn risk hurting those that surround us. Of course it’s never intentional, but it’s a risk all the same. It ends up being a viscous cycle that’s often difficult to dismount. Kind of like a merry-go round, you can only stay on for so long before you draw tired of it and need to ground yourself once again.

But on the same token, love is the one thing we have to open ourselves up to in order to properly heal, to breathe, to start living again. To live a life of love, and to be loved. No wound ever heals to the point that it completely disappears, it’s always going to be there beneath the surface like all battle scars are. But it does get less and less significant with the increased amount of love you welcome back into your life.

Trusting, loving, are risks. But it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Don’t you think?