February 2012

Feb 2012

24

What’s Next?

4

by Lia Halsall

It’s finally getting closer to the end of my nine month deployment and things are starting to be planned and prepared for our return back home to Australia.

For me, this triggered the start of my own personal preparation. What you have to understand is that our life over here is completely controlled, in every aspect of the word. So returning back home takes a little getting used to in the beginning because it’s like going from fifth gear into reverse. Where possible I want to make that transition as easy as possible on myself.

To make the transition that little bit easier I’m starting to plan my leave and what I’m going to do on it. Initially I was going to go away to a Cleanse & Detox Retreat, but now I just want to go home and stay home. So that’s exactly what I’m doing for six glorious weeks post-deployment.

I also want to continue on with my health and fitness lifestyle. Being back at home I’ll have more control over my training and nutrition so I’m taking things to the next level. My training’s all taken care of. I’m meeting Eric Cressey face to face whilst I’m visiting NYC. Once he’s given me the once over he’ll create my next new training program to take away with me and return back home with.

As for my nutrition, I’m ready for a change and want to try different things to see how my body responds to them. Michelle Nazaroff will be helping me out initially until I’ve got that aspect under control.

I’ve also looked into classes on the weekend. Jason Clark from Committed Training personally runs Boot Camp classes at Kangaroo Point on Saturdays. If I want different, I have to be prepared to do different so that what I’m doing.

From the time I get home I have exactly twelve weeks until my 40th Birthday. So my present to myself will be my ultimate health and fitness. I’m half way there already and once I get home I’ll finish the job, once and for all.

So that’s what’s next.

Feb 2012

16

Choices

0

by Lia Halsall

Life is always about a choice we make, good, bad or otherwise.

Either way, we make them and along the way we learn whatever lesson we’re meant to learn from them. Some sooner, some later. For me, I’ve made a lot of choices whilst I’ve been over here about myself, my life, my family and my friends. I’ve found that when you disassociate yourself from them it’s easier to make a decision you otherwise wouldn’t make because you’re too emotionally attached.

Some of these decisions have been quite significant. Some known, some unknown. But the reality of them all won’t hit me until I’m back home in Australia. The fact of the matter is that I’ve made them. I took a strong stand in my life and made some decisions that are in my best interest and that’s what this is all about.

It’s the right time and I’m in the right place in my life to make these decisions. Of course, there will be others who won’t agree with me but that’s okay. The only person I have to answer to that matters, is myself. I have the right to choose the life I want to live.

The people in my life are the ones I’ve chosen to be in it. I no longer have people in my life out of obligation and/or loyalty, that hasn’t served me very well in the past unfortunately. I’m now much smarter and stronger, and I’m not afraid to make choices that will lead me to a happier and healthier life.

I can’t waste my time on things I can’t influence or change. Life is far too precious to waste even a second of it. Instead I’m only making pro-active choices that will lead me to better and brighter things in my future.

I wonder what my next choice will be?

Feb 2012

15

Absence Makes the ♥ Grow Fonder

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by Lia Halsall

I know this for a fact given myself and my husband are often separated due to our chosen careers in the Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF).

Take now for example, over the past couple of years we’ve only been together at the same place and the same time for approximately six months due to his deployment and now my deployment. We don’t complain about it because there’s no point, this is the life we chose for ourselves and we knew what we were getting ourselves in for.

But it takes a strong marriage to endure and survive this kind of lifestyle and thankfully I have that with my husband. Now don’t get me wrong, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs over the years but we’ve always managed to come out the other side of it with our marriage still in tact.

We wear many hats, literally speaking. We’re husband and wife, training partners and peers at work. For some this would be quite the juggle but over the years we’ve got quite good at it. Obviously, because we’re still happily married.

But our time apart isn’t viewed as a negative aspect, quite the contrary actually. We find that we can focus on the task at hand without those personal distractions that often pop up and get in the way. It also gives us a chance to take time out of our married life and be selfish for a while without hurting one another. It’s the best of both worlds really, we get to live the life of a married couple when we’re together and a single person when we’re away working.

In actual fact when we’re apart we appreciate and miss each other so much that when we’re reunited we’re like a couple of love sick teenagers. It’s kind of cute really because it’s like falling in love all over again. I certainly don’t have any complaints.

This time around however has been different because we’ve never been apart for this long. I spent a month away training before returning home for 48hrs and then I flew directly over here to the Middle East. I’ll be seven months by the time I see my husband again in NYC. We’ll have two glorious weeks together before I return back to here and then less than a month before I come home permanently to Australia.

So I know from personal experience, that absence does make the ♥ grow fonder.

Feb 2012

14

Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend

4

by Lia Halsall

Well here they are, my upgraded custom-made engagement and wedding/eternity rings.

Before being deployed I’d discussed with my husband the possibility of upgrading my engagement ring and buying my long-awaited eternity ring. I wanted his blessing as this was important to me, of which I got. Gemstones and custom-made jewellery is considerably cheaper over here so if I was ever going to do it it this was the time.

My original engagement ring was very similar with five baguette’s and a rub over setting. This design however uses all emerald cut diamonds and on a much larger scale. It also has a claw setting which allows the light in making them sparkle like nothing I’ve ever seen before. They’re just so beautiful. I can’t stop looking at them.

Hubby calls them my married long service bling for staying with him for all these years. I guess you could say I’ve earned it. When we meet up in NYC, I’m going to give them to him so that he can propose to me all over again with my new engagement ring and then we’ll repeat our vows using the new wedding/eternity ring. It’ll be a romantic gesture signifying our love for one another and will give the new rings greater meaning. Then when I look down on them I’ll always remember our romantic time together in NYC.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

Feb 2012

13

How To Help Those Who Are Grieving

2

by Lia Halsall

A very dear friend of mine who knows the same pain as I do of losing both parents emailed me this to me. I totally agree with everything written.

I only wished I had this to email my family and friends so that they understood what not to do during the first couple of years when I was  grieving. You live and learn I guess. Here’s hoping it can spare someone what I had to unfortunately go through on top of my grief.

How to help those who are grieving, whether it was months ago, a year ago or years ago.

Grief has no clear beginning or end. It is a journey that will ebb and flow for the rest of our lives. We never get over the death of someone we love. We somehow find a way to live with it. It is important to let the bereaved know that they are allowed to grieve for as long as needed. Till that time comes. Where they are able to remember the one that has died, without feeling pain.

“Sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load”

… TRY NOT TO…

Just as there is no right or wrong way to grieve there is no right or wrong way to support. There are however some things which should be avoided in saying, as these can be hurtful and minimise their loss.

Try not to say you know how they feel. No two grieves will be the same and each grief is as unique as the relationship they shared with the person they have lost.

Don’t tell them they have to be strong. It is in the depths of grief that we are at our most vulnerable.

Don’t tell them they need to get on with life. Life as they knew it is not the same and they will need to learn how to live their life without the person who has died. This takes time.

Don’t say they had a good life, they are at peace now or you are lucky to have had them for so long. No one feels lucky to lose someone they love.

Don’t say it is Gods way, the natural order of things or nature’s way. Logical explanations are cold comfort when you are grieving.

It is not comforting to remind the bereaved that at least they had a chance to say goodbye to the deceased. We never want to say goodbye to those we love.

Be mindful when telling the bereaved they are coping well. They may appear to be coping but it does not mean they have stopped hurting and are done grieving.

Do not compare their grief to others or make suggestions that someone else’s loss was greater. This will only make the bereaved feel their loss is not a significant one and that they do not have the right to grieve.

Don’t tell them they are grieving the wrong way or make suggestions about how they should be dealing with their grief.

Just be there, with a hug, a comforting hand or an open ear. Invite them over often even if they say no. Invite them on special occasions where their loss is so completely overwhelming. Birthdays, Anniversarys, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas etc.

“Sometimes there are no perfect words. Only thoughtful silences that whisper softly of caring”

Pass this along to someone who is grieving, or to guide someone who’s friend/family member is grieving. Remember the stronger the relationship, the harder the grief is. If there is multiple losses in a short period of time, the more painful the grief. Most importantly don’t expect them to “be the same” as they were befor the loss, they will never be the same.  ~ Donna Weber

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