June 2009

Grieving is such a personal thing, it’s one that can’t be compared to anything else other than the death of a loved one in your life. To even consider comparison would be an insult of the worst kind. It’s also a very dark time and you often find yourself with thoughts that you wouldn’t normally be having. Like wanting to die to be closer to your loved one. I’ve wanted to die just to be closer to my Mum & Dad. Being separated, permanently separated is unbearable some days.

Even now, my heart and soul feels unrepairable. It feels like they’ve shattered into a trillion different pieces never to be found again let alone put back together. The pain and depth it goes too is excruciating and it doesn’t get any easier contrary to what everyone says. You learn to live with it but the pain never ever goes away. It’s always there under the surface, just suppressed long enough to get through another miserable day without them in it. Not a second, nor minute, nor hour nor day goes by that I don’t think of them. It’s exhausting going through the various emotions every day and most of the time you don’t see them coming until they catch you by surprise. Emotions are tricky things.

I try to manage and try to cope but some days it’s just impossible. The array of emotions is often over whelming, so much so it feels like I’m drowning in sadness. I am so angry, so angry at them for leaving me here to deal with this without them. And no matter what anyone says or does, I feel all alone. At this point in time I just feel like dropping of the face of this earth and withdrawing into myself even further than what I already have until I’m ready to come out again.

I don’t want sympathy or even empathy as nothing anyone ever says helps me out of this dark dark place I sometimes find myself. I don’t even know what it is that I want or what I’m even looking for. I’m confused, I’m scared, I’m lost, I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m tired. I’ll all of that and more, so very much more. Life is what it is and I have to figure it out for myself. So in doing so I’m taking a break from blogging. Maybe for two days, two weeks, two months I honestly don’t know. I need to be completely and utterly selfish and just focus on the basics of living at the moment and hopefully my extended online family and friends you will all understand and respect that.

Updated 15th June 2009 @ 2149h: After a great deal of consideration I’ve decided that I’ll be taking the rest of this year off from blogging. I’m lost….  I’m stumbling around life not knowing what to do with myself and until I do I’m withdrawing from the world as I know it. I will be back, just don’t know when.

Much like choosing a bottle of wine, when it comes to olive oil, choosing the right one is about more than simply choosing the ‘best’ (extra virgin, right?).

Each type of olive oil is best suited to a different purpose, and an understanding of the differences between them will help you match the right olive oil to the right meal.

Olive oil is produced primarily in Mediterranean regions as well as in areas of the US and Australia. It is made by the process of crushing (or ‘pressing’) the olive fruit into a paste and then separating the oil. The different types of oil relate primarily to the degree to which the olives are processed. The flavour of the oil will also vary according to the region the olives are harvested. It is also possible to buy olive oil infused with different flavours such as chilli, rosemary and garlic.

Varieties

Extra virgin
Extra virgin olive oil is of the highest quality, made from the first ‘pressing’. The pale, yellow-green oil is flavoursome, but the flavour is degraded when the oil is heated. It is therefore best-suited to salad dressings and marinades.

Virgin
Virgin olive oil has a slightly higher level of acidity compared with extra virgin, but can be used in much the same way, as well as in cooking.

Pure
After the virgin oil has been removed, the remaining oil is refined, processed and blended with a small amount of virgin oil to make pure olive oil. It has a mild flavour and is a good cooking oil.

Light and extra light
A common misconception about light and extra light olive oil is that it is lower in fat compared with other varieties. The lightness actually refers to the colour and flavour of the oil. It is suitable for cooking.

Storing
Keep olive oil in an airtight bottle in a cool dark place for up to a year.

Source: Taste.com.au – December 2008

Author: Francesca Percy

Breakfast: 1 x Large Orange

Snack: 2 x Rice Cakes, Guacamole & Salsa

Lunch: Garlic Stuffed Chicken Breast with Savoy Cabbage, Baby Carrots and Golden Squash

Snack: 1 x Pink Lady Apple

Dinner: 3 x Rosemary Marinated Lamb Cutlets & Mixed Lettuce Leaves, Continental Cucumber & Avocado

Breakfast has seen a dramatic change this week for me. My skin has continued to react and the only thing left in my diet that I have a sensativity to are the egg whites so out they go for stage two of my detox program. This will hopefully help me determine whether or not they’re the key factor to my skin reactions, or so I hope. Only time will tell I guess.

As for my snack I’m eating something a little more filling earlier on in the day when I’m more active in comparison to the afternoon when I’m generally slowing down. By having an apple I’m getting some fructose which will assist me through the afternoon slump that we all endure and I’m really enjoying my fruit at the moment. There’s nothing nicer than an organic piece of seasonal fruit to eat, positively delicious.

For lunch my inspiration came from hubby’s meal last week when he had stuffed chicken breasts. My chicken breasts will be stuffed with virgin olive oil, crushed garlic and continental parsley. By chilling the olive oil in the fridge it will become a semi solid which will enable us to stuff the chicken with it. Garlic not only tastes great but is also good for the immune system. Savoy cabbage is a new vegetable for me and I’ll be blanching this along with the baby carrots and golden squash to eat with it. The only seasoning is sea salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Pink Lady Apple’s aren’t my usual choice of apples to eat so again I’m branching out and trying different varieties. They say that variety is the spice of life so I’m running with that.

Lamb cutlets are on the menu again for this week. First of all they’re my favourite red meat and secondly there is no similarity when it comes to taste between cooked and eaten straight away compared to frozen and reheated. Although last week they were good this week they’re great so lesson learnt for the future.

I’m learning so much more about seasonal food and what works and what doesn’t when it comes to the flavour and taste of organic food. I’ll never ever go back to the way I was eating prior to doing this detox. I always say that everything in life happens for a reason and I truly believe that at this point in my life I was meant to be right here right now. This is so much more than a detox to me and has changed the way I look at food. I’ve changed and for the better, AT LAST!! I’ve stuck to my detox guidelines and haven’t deviated and nor have I wanted to. I’m not experiencing my usual cravings when dieting even during my menstruating. I’m allowed organic honey as a natural sweetener so that has helped. I’ve just come to the realisation that my body prefers this style of nutrition and that the remaining four weeks won’t be a challenge like I first thought. This is what it is and me and my body is loving every single bit of it.

My goal this year of achieving and maintaining a healthy mindy, body and spirit is well and truly happening and I can see the light at the end of my journey.