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One day at a time....

is what it's going to take before I can start living again.

Where do I start. This would have to be the most difficult blog I have ever written since the beginning of it's existence. Firstly though, I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for the generous out pouring of condolences myself and my family have received via blog comments (both regulars and lurkers), sms messages, phone calls, flower deliveries, house visits and announcements in the Riverine Herald and the Herald Sun. I am truly overwhelmed at the magnitude of people that care for me and my family, I honestly had no idea just how many of you there were. Thank you so much.

I always have been and always will be "My Daddy's Little Girl". When he died part of me died along with him. As for how am I doing, I'm in a state of shock and feel completely numb. It's all so surreal at the moment and I don't think it will sink in until we attend the funeral next Wednesday 6th August 2008. There really aren't words to describe this pain, it's border line unbearable. It's like someone has reached into your chest with their bare hand and ripped your heart out leaving this gaping hole in your chest that will never heal. I'm constantly on this emotional roller coaster ride and I never know where it's going to take me, all I can do is hang on in hope that it's going to be over soon. I'm just taking things one day at a time and hoping for the best. Obviously with everything that's going on at the moment I've had to re-schedule my shoulder surgery, I'm now going in Wednesday 27th August 2008. I guess I'm feeling a little precious at the moment and one of the not so luckiest people in the world. I've certainly had better years that's for sure.

Mum hasn't been well this week so we've had to re-schedule her radiotherapy treatment. We've had palliative care out to the house and they've even had to put a butterfly clip with a line in so that I can administer her anti-nausea medication intravenously until she's well again. Heath's settling into his new home and job although he's feeling a little unsettled and lost which is understandable considering the circumstances.

Well that's about all I want to post right now. I need to go, thank you for understanding. xxx

District mourns ski racing legend

By Kathryn Maddox
July 30 2008


Echuca-Moama's water skiing fraternity is mourning the death of Echuca's Dennis Rowbottom after a logging accident in the Millewa State Forest near Mathoura on Saturday.

Leading Senior Constable Richard Arnold of Deniliquin police said the 58-year-old man had been carrying out logging operations with another man.

Mr Rowbottom had been working on a Bell logging tractor when the accident happened about 1pm.

The second man was working on a portable sawmill a short distance away from Mr Rowbottom when the logging tractor crashed into the portable sawmill, Sen. Constable Arnold said.

"He observed the deceased was not in the cabin of the tractor and saw him laying in the track on the ground,"he said.

"The tractor had gone over the top of him."

The second man raised the alarm with Mr Rowbottom's defacto who was not far from where the accident happened.

The man then drove to another area in the forest to get mobile reception to call emergency services.

"Ambulance officers followed by police arrived shortly after. By the time they arrived he had passed away," Sen. Constable Arnold said.

Forensic police from Albury, detectives from Deniliquin and members from the Volunteer Rescue Association attended the accident, which is being investigated by WorkCover.

A coronial brief is being prepared for the coroner.

A long-time competitor in ski racing, Mr Rowbottom drove the Mistress speed boat in this year's Southern 80.

Moama Water Sports Club president Alan McDonald said Mr Rowbottom's death was an "absolute tragedy".

"It's a huge loss. He was one of the legends of the sport," he said.

He was well-known in the Echuca area for winning the 1989 and 1990 Southern 80 ski race with the Island Cooler team of Leo Welch and Jamie Oliver.

"Back in the time of Island Cooler, he had the quickest boat in Australia at the time," Mr McDonald said.

Mr Rowbottom was diagnosed with a kidney condition in his early 20s and received his second kidney transplant in January 2007.

"To think he survived his second kidney transplant to have this happen," Mr McDonald said.

My Dad

Man dies in accident

July 28 2008



A 58-year-old Echuca man died early Saturday after an accident in Millewa State Forest.

Sergeant Matt McCarthy of Moama police said the man was repairing a logging vehicle about 1pm Saturday when it appears to have been kicked into gear, pinning him under the wheels.

Deniliquin police detectives attended the accident and WorkCover has been advised.

A coronial investigation will be held.

RIP Dad :o(

Dennis Rowbottom
6th May 1950 - 26th July 2008
Much Loved Dad & Father-in-Law Of
Lia, Heath & Daniel

"To mourn too long
for those we love is self indulgent -
but to honour their memory
with a promise
to live a little better
for having known them
gives purpose to their life -
and some reason for their death."

-- Nan Witcomb

I've been shopping again....

and I'm blaming Dallas. He's created a monster in me when it comes to my photography. LOL!! With Lindy's photo shoot next weekend I had to get a couple of accessories sooner rather than later. This time I've bought a flash filter for my speed lite, a spare camera battery and flash batteries with a home and car charger. I purchased them online and their on their way to me next week. Here's hoping it all fits into my new camera bag otherwise you know what that will mean, an upgrade. *arghhh*

I have a relatively busy day planned tomorrow. First up, I'm taking our four legged children for their monthly grooming so that they look feel and smell simply beautiful. They on the other hand might disagree with that concept. LOL!! Then it's my turn, I'm heading to my nail technician. Sandra is the best, she does a really lovely job and I'm forever getting complimented on my nails. I have on my natural nail acrylic on the bottom for strength and gel on the top for gloss. She has the tiniest swarovski crystals in ab and pink and I'm thinking I may get a couple put on. We'll see.

I'll also be heading over to Lift Health & Sport to pick up some Dymatize Elite Whey - Vanilla & Musashi Red to add to my supplement collection. I have nine days before I kick off with my next stage of my figure journey. Everything's almost in place and I'm ready for a challenge.

Here's another picture courtesy of Magda. Blogger Girls at the 2008 All Female Classic. Who here had a great time that weekend, I know I did. It was so much fun that I was sad to see it all end. Oh well, there's always next year.

Mum jumped online today on her laptop in her room, when I walked in she was reading yesterdays post and all the lovely comments that you ladies left. She was so overwhelmed by your love and compassion that she started to cry. Mum wanted me to let you all know that her daughter has a wonderful bunch of blogger friends that obviously care about me and to say thank you for all your comments and your well wishes. Honestly ladies, that's the biggest compliment you can pay me. So from the bottom of my heart I wanted to sincerely thank each and every one of you that reads, comments and lurks my blog for all your love and support. You're all truly amazing and you inspire me to be a better me every single day. Thank you. :o)

You take what comes....

Yesterday was an interesting day at Peter Mac. Mum had both her chemotherapy and radiotherapy review as you all know. Here's the good news, her cancer that has been treated by chemotherapy and radiotherapy has been effective and 'pain management' as they call it is finally under control.

Today Mum was moulded and x-rayed ready for her next lot of radiotherapy treatment, this time it's for the brain. There's a one in three chance that her small cell lung cancer can spread up into her brain so they recommend this purely as a preventative. She'll have five treatments over five consecutive days. As for chemotherapy treatment, Mum has no more for now and will be reviewed in a month's time.

Mum no longer drives so I drive here to wherever she wants or needs to go. I also attend all her appointments, the morphine and treatments she's had have affected her mind some what so I go along with her so that we're sure about what's going on with appointments, treatments and medications. I find this the toughest part for me. I have tears in my eyes now just typing this. Her physical health is one thing but her mental health, that tears me apart. There just aren't words I can use to express what that does to me, it's a gut wrenching heart breaking kind of internal devastation.

So anyway, where are we at with it? Basically the cancer is currently stunned from all the treatment which is good but the long term prognosis isn't good. At best, we'll have eighteen months with Mum. This wasn't as difficult to take as I've come to accept this outcome and I'm the kind of person who needs to know the good and the bad so that they're aren't any surprises. That way I can prepare for what lies ahead. I hope this doesn't make me sound heartless because you all know I'm not. I guess it's my comping mechanism and what I need to do to survive.

That's life.....you can't have one without the other just like yin and yang. There has to be balance and this is my life. It is what it is and I just live it to the best of my ability.


Heath (above in the picture with me) rang to say that he's coming over to visit and stay for the night tonight. If Mum's feeling well enough we're going to go out for dinner for Vietnamese. It'll be nice just the four of us hanging out together again. It has seldom happened in the past due to both myself and my brother living interstate so it'll be good for us, especially Mum.

Well it's ridiculously late, I couldn't sleep so I got up and now I'm going to attempt to go to sleep again. Good night. :o)

2008 All Female Classic - Magda & Me

The Big Picture

I often find that when I'm doing my housework I tend to think a lot about things that are going on in my life at the time and yesterday was no different. When I was making my bed my mind was off thinking about figure competing. It's never an easy decision to make because there are so many contributing factors to take into consideration and anything can change at a moment's notice. I found that out this year. So this is what I have figured out so far.

JD has set me a goal to achieve and maintain 80mm. Lisa @ Bodyworx will be helping me to achieve this goal as well as setting me up with a new healthy maintainable lifestyle. These two things I'm sure about and have no problem committing to.

Mum's health and well being is so unpredictable that we literally do take things day by day. The responsibility of caring for a loved one and having them live with you is a lot more involved than I had ever imagined. I find myself facing challenges every single day, some for seen some not. It's difficult doing what I do, really difficult. I really have a whole new appreciation for those family and friends who do exactly what I'm doing and that's taking in a loved one who needs to be cared for for whatever reason. It's a tough job.

So by the end of this year I'll be fit and healthy and 80mm. That way I'm always going to be within twenty weeks of any comp prep which puts me in a much better position. So it's all good. As for when will I be competing again, you'll have to wait and see. After this year I'm not making any decisions until twenty weeks out so you'll just have to wait and see what the future holds for me. Even I don't know at this stage and in actual fact it's the furthest thing from my mind.


I made another appointment to go and see Jacqui Louder (Sports Psychologist). I haven't seen her since we moved back and feel that it's time to go back. My emotional eating and binging has rared it's ugly head again this year and I really need some help with getting on top of it all over again unfortunately. It's disappointing that I let myself get back here but it's promising that I'm doing something about it.

Then it's shoulder surgery for me next Wednesday. Boy hasn't that come around quickly. It's an overnight visit then two weeks convalescence leave at home returning to work. It's all happening here. LOL!!


Next on my shopping list for this pay fortnight is a flash for my new camera. It's a Canon Speedlite 580EXII Flash. Lindy asked last night if I was available to be her photographer for the Brazilian Butterlfy Queen of the Lake held at Albert Park Lake, Melbourne on Sunday 3rd August. Dallas couldn't make it down and actually suggested that I do it. I mean, can you believe it. He thinks that I'm good enough to photograph his wife. WOW what a compliment!


Must dash, Mum and I are heading back into the hospital for her chemotherapy and radiotherapy review today. I'll be back! LOL!! :o)

Lindy Olsen's BodyTune Workshop

Lindy Olsen's BodyTune Workshop is coming to Queensland. Guess who else will be there? ;o)

When: Saturday 23rd August 2008 @ 12:00pm
Where: Goodlife Graceville
Address: 164 Graveville Avenue, Graceville
Phone: (07) 3379 3791
Web: www.goodlifehealthclubs.com.au

To register, just ring and reserve your seat. Numbers are limited so hurry so you don't miss out! :o)

Feeling Blue? 7 Ways to Motivate Yourself! by Nicole Snell

Regardless of what your goals are, motivation plays a critical role in keeping you on track and moving forward.

Whether we're tired, sore from a previous workout, or stressing over life, we all have days when we feel less than our best. On days like this, it's hard enough to get out of our mental funk, let alone drag ourselves to the gym for a workout.

Going to the grocery store to replenish the supply of oats, veggies, chicken, and tuna seems like a harrowing task, so you take a trip through a fast food drive-thru instead.

The mirror has become your mortal enemy, and you avoid it as often as you avoid the scale, or that pair of jeans you used to love.

Stuffing one more clean meal into your mouth turns your stomach, and you feel like everything you used to love about food has gone down the drain, along with the pasta, sweets, and bread you can no longer eat.

Soon your mood begins to tank even more than it was before you started feeling as if your hard work isn't paying off. Your goals seem so far out of reach you need a pair of binoculars to catch sight of them again!

We've all been there, and some of us might be there right now.

Losing your mojo for any period of time is undoubtedly unnerving, but it doesn't have to derail your progress. The following strategies will propel you out of the land of "blahs" and reignite the fire that's burning within.

Read more....

I am just plum tuckered out......

after the day I had yesterday. Mum and I were supposed to spend half a day at the hospital but instead spent the entire day. For me that's a long day but for a patient, that's a loooooooooong day. She ended up having to have nuclear medicine for a bone scan then a cat scan. It was a long and emotionally draining day but we just suck it up and get on with it no matter what, we just have to. Then Thursday we go back for her chemotherapy and radiotherapy review to see where we're at. Only time will tell I guess.

Macro Wholefoods...........what can I say, other than I'M HOME. I love this market and really enjoyed the whole shopping experience yesterday morning. I arrived right after they'd opened their doors, their fresh produce had just been put out on display and what a difference their colours were. So bright and inviting. I must sound crazy I know but I'm born to eat organic, I'm sure of it. LOL!! Once I'd finished shopping and made my way to the checkout counter I saw my balance and my first thought was "OMG I forgot how expensive eating organic is" then shortly followed by "you get what you pay for, this is your health and well being we're talking about here and you can't put a price on that". And before you ask, yes there's more than one of us living in my head. LOL!! No seriously there is. ;o) I am right though, it is more expensive but you know what? Who cares, I surely don't. I can afford it. I look at the bigger picture, it's an investment into my future. If I want the best possible life for myself then I have to eat the best food in order to achieve it. Pretty simple if you ask me.


Happy 34th Birthday Heath. Today's my brothers birthday as well as his first day in Melbourne. He's moved down here from Sydney. It's pretty obvious why, to be closer to his Mummy. So for the first time in a long time my entire family is living in the same state. It's going to take some getting used too. LOL!!

This is going to be short and sweet this morning. I have much to achieve today and really must make a start. :o)

"Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all."

-- Dale Carnegie

Dietgirl's Spinach & Feta Frittata

Check it out for yourself by clicking on the title and/or photo. :o)

Jacinta Bobos

The Cancer Council Victoria Arts Awards is a fundraising program where artwork is submitted that conveys cancer stories. Jacinta Bobos (2007 INBA All Female Classic Ms Figure Novice Champion) was one of the lucky entries to make it through for display and judging. Here she is with her entry.

Mum, Daniel and myself are heading into see the exhibition this week in support of not only the Cancer Council but also Jacinta. xxx

One down and four to go

Today I got up at 0500h, I've now learnt a few things about being a carer. Like getting up an hour earlier for my 'morning routine' and then waking up my Mum. I just never know how she's going to be feeling from one day to the next so I have to be prepared for the worst. The both of us getting ready at the same time didn't work on the not so good days and we usually ended up running late. So 0600h I'll wake her up and if it's a good day I have an extra hour to myself but if it's a bad day I'm there to help.

They've been some other changes too. Things like having hospital sick bags and wetones in my glove box. Mum gets a lot of nausea so you have to be prepared for anything and I mean anything. Today we're heading to Peter Mac for two appointments the first being radiotherapy treatment the second is a psychologist appointment. Cancer patients need a lot of extra support and sometimes their families and friends can't always give them exactly what they need. Thankfully these resources are all available in the one place, it really and truly is the best hospital and the care that they offer is second to none.


Yesterday was a very productive day administration wise and boy I'm glad it's over. LOL!! I have now finished and printed out my promissory contract and distraction and nurture list. All that's left to do is sign the promissory contract then laminate them both to put up on the fridge. That way it's a constant reminder of my commitment to myself and my options for the 'just in case time' during this new adventure. I've almost finished my goal setting framework but am waiting on an email back from Craig Harper. I had a question for him that I needed clarified before I could finish that too.


I've also been making some decisions about how best to tackle my rest and recovery requirements. Lisa @ Bodworx has suggested I take two epsom salt baths a week as well as one sauna session. No arguments from me. LOL!! So I've now included these three into my 'weekly schedule' to ensure I get the appropriate rest and recovery that's required for my genetics for lean muscle growth. I've also made the decision to take one day off a week away from my office and do nothing but chill out and relax. So Sunday is my day off, I won't be blogging or at LindyOlsen.com's Forum. This is probably going to be my biggest challenge yet but I know it's in my best interest so I have too. Like I said yesterday, there are going to be some big changes around here for me and for the better.


Sleep, are you getting enough? is an article I've just written which has been published over at LindyOlsen.com If you haven't seen it already pop on over and let me know what you think of it by leaving me a comment.

Well it's time for me to wake Mum. Enjoy this day and let those around you know how much you love them. :o)

Deb's Progress

Deb posted up some progress pics this afternoon and in all honesty she has had some incredible growth and development between 2006 & 2008. Just click on her blog header to check them out for yourselves. I'm gobsmaked!

I'm so impressed and proud of you Deb. Congratulations sweetheart. :o)

Planning & Preperation

"If I want different, I have to be prepared to do different" -- Lia Halsall

Monday 4th August 2008 is when I start my next big adventure and I'm really excited about it. This time around everything's going to be different. In actual fact it's completely the oppositite to what I've done in the past which makes it even more exciting.

I also have a great team behind me and in my opinion are the best of the best. In no particular order:
Lindy Olsen @ LindyOlsen.com for my Genetic Profile
Lisa Stokes @ Bodyworx for my Off-Season Lifestyle
Jon Davie @ Prepared 2 Win for my 20 Week Competition Preparation
Jo Rogers @ Style on Stage for my Posing Costume
Jacqui Louder @ OPSMC for my Sports Phychology
Dallas Olsen @ Dallas Olsen Photography for my Sports Photography

To ensure I do things differently this time around I'm changing my entire approach up to when I officially kick off. Normally I would jump in feet first whether I was ready or not and just go for it, that's fine for a while but sooner rather than later I would fall of the wagon and end up back where I first started. Not the desirable outcome I was looking for. So to prevent this from happening again and again I'm taking the slow and steady approach and making sure I dot all the i's and cross all the t's and making sure everything I need is organised and in it's place.

I have my plan, I've purchased my supplements and have written a shopping list ready to go shopping over at Macro Wholefoods. Macro Wholefoods is an organic market in Richmond. It's a bit of a journey but I'm going to make the effort and shop there every week. That's the supplements and nutrition out of the way so I'll tick that things to do box off.

Next is my training. Daniel's designed me a three day lower body and abs training program using either body weight or pin loaded machines. No cardio. Genetically speaking a break from cardio for maximum rest and recovery will do me and my body the absolute world of good. So I've printed out my program and have put it in my gym folder in my gym bag. So that's another tick off my things to do list.


Now onto the real important things, sports psychology. I'm setting up a couple of new things to help me keep on track and hopefully prevent making past mistakes over and over again.

1. Creating a promissory contract for myself. This is a document I've created making a written commitment to myself sighted and signed by myself and my husband.

2. Will be my new goal setting framework I learnt all about at the Renovate your Life Workshop held by Craig Harper. It's pretty impressive and is going to take me a little while to set up for myself but well worth it in the end. It'll help me to track where I'm at and where I'm going. I'm even going to office works and get it printed off as large as I can to put up on my wall above my desk in my studio.

3. Is an idea I picked up from a book I read earlier this year "The Lazy Girl's Guide to Losing Weight & Getting Fit" A.J. Rochester. It's a distraction and nurture list. You see, you create two lists and when you're bored and/or hungry you go to your distraction list and do something from it to keep you busy and distracted. But when you're say dealing with emotional stress then instead of opting for 'emotional eating' refer back to your nurture list and do something from it to nurture yourself. The choices are endless and it's really up to you what you put on either lists.

So as you can see I've been very busy getting everything organised and only have a couple of lose ends left to tie up.

FitGenes Seminar

Sorry ladies, I'm just to tired to blog this evening. I think my brain is still bleeding from information overload. LOL!!

I'll be back tomorrow to update you here about the FitGenes Seminar. I now hold a Level 1 Fitgenes Accredited Education Program. *yay*

Sunday 20th July 2008

Here's a picture of Kek, Lindy and myself from yesterday. Kek also did the course. Lindy was one of the presenters and did a really professional job if I do say so myself.


One of the ladies over at LindyOlsen.com's Forum posted up a link from the Bodysport.com Fitness & Figure Talk Radio. Elaine & Terry Goodland talk to Christina Camilleri about eating disorders in the fitness industry. So here it is, check it out for yourself and let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment.


Now onto my supplements. For Tanja & Lorraine, here's what I have in my supplement draw and am currently taking:

BCAA
Bio Ace Excel
Contraceptive Pill
Digestaid
Evening Primrose Oil
Fish Oil
Folate
Glucosamine
Glycine
Gynmema
Hair, Skin & Nails
L-Tyrosine
L-Carnitine
USANA Essentials
Vital Greens Powder
Xiao Yao San
Yellow
ZMA

I think that's it. LOL!! Deb emailed last night to see if I needed a friendly prompt about my Cert IV. And yep I did so on that note I'm going to hit the books and finish of these last two assessments today. Then all that's left is my practical assessment. *woo hoo* I'm almost nearly qualified. :o)

Hilds Dempster - Sports Model 3rd Place

Hendershott in the Olympia

Jen Hendershott is Olympia bound once again.

After months of deliberation, Jen Hendershott has decided to return to the Olympia stage for another go-round. Despite being one of the top Fitness pros in the business, there was some doubt whether fans would see Hendershott compete at the 2008 Olympia. Hendershott, the 2005 Fitness Olympia winner, is coming off back-to-back third-place finishes on the sport's biggest stage.

Read more....

MacBook Pro & Iphone

I'm considering changing over from what I've got now which is HP Pavillion Entertainment Notebook & Smart Phone to these. One small problem though, I know nothing about apple mac. So if you own either one of these and can compare them to windows and microsoft I would love to hear from you so please leave me a comment. Thanks ladies. :o)

Splenda has finally left the building

That's right, I've quit after a four year habit ladies. Splenda is no longer a part of my life now. I had them everywhere, the pantry, my handbag, cooler bag, glove box, at work. There was like a breeding program going on. No seriously, there was. LOL!! I didn't realise how many I had accumulated until I collected them all together. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. I'm heading in the right direction towards a healthy natural organic lifestyle. There's a lot of information on the internet detailing why this product isn't good for us so I won't bore you with the details.

Apologies for the delay between posts, it couldn't be helped. Bigpond screwed up twice this week and I've been offline for the most of it unfortunately. I'm back now though and have thankfully upgraded to ADSL2+. Must say, I can't notice that much difference. If you think your current carrier has good customer service and is really fast I want to hear about it. At this point in time I'm open to anything because you don't want to know what I REALLY think of Telstra & Bigpond. *grrrrr*

Onto some good news. Mum's coming home today from hospital. *woo hoo* In her two week hospital stay she's managed to not only eat regularly but also put on a whopping 2.5kg. That's huuuge! 46kg was her weight when she was admitted for a blood transfusion so to finally eat and put on weight is a good thing, no sorry that's a great thing! I can't wait to bring her back home this afternoon. *doing a little dance*


So after much sourcing I've finally got all my old and new supplements suggested by Lisa from Bodyworx. Any significantly new implementations for training, supplements and nutrition takes time to execute and with everything going on in my life I'm happy to take the time. If you would like me to list exactly what they are just let me know by leaving a comment.

Now onto this weekend. As usual, there's no rest for the wicked. As you can see over on the right on my July Schedule I'm attending the FitGenes Seminar tomorrow. Here's the FitGenes Overview for those of you who may be interested. For the industry folk, this is also worth 6 CEC's. Now if only I could stop procrastinating and finish my Cert IV. Speaking of which ladies, aren't you supposed to be making me accountable? *tsk tsk*


Lindy broke in my Omlette Maker for me last weekend and I got to try it this week. We have a winer! It rocks.....and makes cooking omlettes so much easier and mess free. I highly recommend it. It gets a double thumbs up from me.

The weekends almost here, I hope you have a fabulous one and I can't wait to hear all about it. :o)