I have a head full of some things I just have to get out, so here it is. Firstly I’m shocked at the selfishness of some people at one of the most difficult times of my life. Not one, not two, not three, but four different people felt that dumping their issues on me the day before and the day of my mothers funeral would be considered okay. Well you know it, IT WASN’T! Their timing was terrible to say the least and it just goes to show how selfish some people really are. I don’t care what you think, what issues you have, none of this matters to me. I’m grieving the death of not one but two parents and you think you have the right to waste my precious time and detract from what’s really import here. Are you kidding me, who do you think you are? You are to me the lowest of the low and if I don’t see these people again it’ll be only to soon. I have learnt so many lessons this past year and unfortunately not all positive. I’ve also seen the true colours of many of my family and friends and all isn’t what it appears to be either. That’s okay because not all of these people will be a part of my future because I don’t have time for selfish people in my life. Enough said.
Now that I’ve got that of my chest, onto more positive things. I’ve been doing some thinking lately and I’ve decided that during my next transformation I’m not going to be publishing my stats. The reason being is because of an earlier post of mine about numbers vs results. The numbers are indicators for myself and for my coach to ensure that everything’s going according to plan. There is no need to be 1. numbers focused, and 2. there is no benefit or requirement to publish my stats. I’ve seen time and time again competitors comparing themselves to other competitors. This simply is not healthy and no good ever comes of it. No two competitors are the same, we’re genetically different. What works for one may not work for another and so on and so forth. So by choosing to not be numbers focused or publishing my numbers for comparison and/or judging I’m making the effort to break away from bad habits and creating new and healthy habits for myself.
JD got my email with my symmetry photos and stats. He’s had a look over them, we talked on the phone and now I’m waiting for an email which will have everything I need to get started again. He agrees that competing should be the last thing on my mind and getting fit and healthy should be my #1 priority. It’s good to know that he’s not one of those money hungry personal trainers out there that isn’t interested in the bottom dollar. Instead he’s more concerned with how I am and getting me fitter and healthier. Once I achieve this and maintain it then we’ll talk about competing but until then please stop asking me when I’ll be competing next. I don’t know and I don’t need the pressure either. There’s more to life than competing at this point in time.
It’s probably a good thing I have reiki tonight because I’m feeling so angry at the moment. Grieving is such an emotional roller coaster ride that it’s starting to feel normal for me, how sad is that. I’ll also be seeing Jacqui Louder tomorrow so it’ll no doubt be another emotional session but probably a very necessary one. I just take the good with the bad and go with it, where it takes me I never know until it stops. But I’m getting there, slowly but surely day by day.
Speaking of which I better get a couple of things done before I head to reiki. Good night.
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