Dad’s back in hospital, this time he’s having difficulty breathing. 
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May 2007
Dad was discharged today from hospital and is back home safe and sound again. Thankyou to everyone for your sincere well wishes and love and support, you’ve helped me through this past two weeks.
I’m psychologically and physically exhausted at the moment so once I’m back on my feet (which won’t be long) I’ll be up and blogging again.
Luv Me. xo
Week 2 is completed! I didn’t achieve my goal weight but I had to take into consideration that it’s ttotm = fluid retention and the stress = cortisol would all be contributing factors to this result. I’d done everything that was required of me to do so therefore knew that I’d achieved my goal irrespective of the results. After all, they are just numbers! See I am learning, flexibility is going to be my middle name before too long folks. LOL!!
So I’ve reeped my Week 2 reward yesterday of a full set of gel french tips, I feel so much more feminine with them on again not to mention better about myself. And today’s Week 1 reward is a decedent 75 minute retreat massage with blended essential oils. I pertty much plan on floating out of there by the end of the session. LOL!!
Next week’s goal weight has remained the same because I have to be more realistic which I’ve failed to do in the past. Yet another learning curve for me. Like I always say, slow and steady wins the race of life. )
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I know I know……….I said I wasn’t going to be posting in the near future but I promised you that I would keep you up to date with my progress and a promise is a promise. To me, a promise is a concrete commitment of which I ALWAYS follow through, so here I am!
Friday 2.00pm is my weekly appointment which I desperately needed. Honestly I couldn’t wait to get into her office so that I could address some issues that have been doing my head in this past week. You all know that I have a pretty full plate at the moment so this appointment was important for me to keep.
We touched on my obsessive and compulsive behaviors. So what exactly does that mean, well it means I see things very black and white and struggle with being flexible enough to accept the many shades of grey in between. So what exactly are obsessions and compulsions?
Obsessions
Obsessions are thoughts, images, or impulses that occur over and over again and feel out of your control. I don’t want to have these ideas. I find them disturbing and intrusive, and usually recognise that they don’t really make sense. Obsessions are accompanied by uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a sensation that things have to be done in a way that is “just so.”
Compulsions
I try to make the obsessions go away by performing compulsions. Compulsions are acts that I perform over and over again, often according to certain “rules.” Rather, the rituals are performed to obtain relief from the discomfort caused by the obsessions.
For me it’s the obsessions and compulsions to be 100% PERFECT in EVERY aspect of my life. Up until this point I’ve allowed it to control my life when realistically I’ve been out of control of my life. Now that I’m getting professional help I’m learning how to use the tools in my toolbox to live a life I’m so much more deserving of. Slowly but surely I’ll get there, this isn’t a quick fix program but a long term project to provide myself with quality of life. Real quality this time.
It’s funny you know, because myself and others have talked about how it appears that there’s a particular type of personality that’s attracted to this sport of bodybuilding. And it’s so true, we’re all a lot alike in some ways.
I have some homework to do for Jacqui so I best make a start on it. Enjoy your weekend and live each day as if it were your last.
It’s confirmed, he has vascular rejection. This has hit us pretty hard most of all Dad. He’s in hospital for at least the next 14 days whilst he undergoes plasma treatment.
Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments, emails, messages and phone calls, I really appreciate it. Unfotunately I’m only just managing to cope at the moment so won’t be blogging in the near future. As soon as things settle down and I’m on top of things I’ll be back. I just really need this time to myself. Love to you all. xo
